Note: This post is very personal, and may edge into the TMI (too much information) category for some of you. You’ve been warned.
Some of you may have noticed that my last blog post was written in October. And since that time, I also haven’t been very active on my Easy Paleo Facebook page. A lot has been going on! Actually, one very, very LITTLE person has been throwing a kink into everything. That’s right, I’m pregnant!
Death and Life…
We found out in late October. It had been a very difficult month… my husband’s aunt, one of our most treasured relatives, had been fighting pancreatic cancer for quite a while, and everything really deteriorated during the month of October. It was incredibly hard to watch her slowly slip away from us. On October 28th, she passed away at only 43 years old. We were, and are, utterly devastated.
On the day of her funeral, we discovered that we were pregnant. It was a huge shock, and here’s why…
My husband and I have been married for nine years. About two years into our marriage, we decided that it was time to have kids. I stopped my birth control pills, and I fully expected to have a growing baby in my stomach by the following month. It didn’t happen. Those of you who have experienced infertility understand the emotional pain we suffered over the next year or two. It seemed that everyone around us was getting pregnant and having babies, but for some reason we weren’t.
My husband and I both went to have things checked out by a doctor, and we were told that nothing was “wrong.” We were told, however, that I was not ovulating regularly, and the words “polycystic ovarian syndrome” were tossed around. I had no idea what that meant, and I didn’t really care to find out. The doctors said that we would probably require some fertility treatments in order to conceive, and, at that point, we were in no financial position to consider that option (or adoption).
After stopping my birth control pills, it became clear that my menstrual cycle was not going to come on its own. My doctor suggested that I call her office for medication to force a start every three months, so that’s what I did. It was really frustrating to know that my body was not functioning as it should. Since we would have still loved for pregnancy to occur on it’s own, we haven’t used any form of birth control in the last seven years.
Since all hope seemed lost, I prayed that God would take the desire for children away from me until it was time… the emotional suffering had to stop. And miraculously, it did. In the years that have passed since that time, I’ve been very content with my life. I have an amazing husband, and we have grown in so many ways. We have fallen more deeply in love, and we’ve had so many adventures together! Looking back now, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Having nine years of marriage alone together has been pretty amazing. And, to be honest, I decided during that time that I would be perfectly okay if we never had kids. I even thought a few times that I might be really sad if I found out I was pregnant. Life was good!
Back in July, 2011, we started eating Paleo-style. After our initial 30 days, we noticed changes in physique, skin clarity, energy, sleep quality, and mood. But after about a year, something really exciting happened… my period began coming on it’s own! It still wasn’t coming every single month, but I didn’t have to call for medication again after that. Eventually, it would show up, and it was always before that 3-month mark. I was thrilled… it seemed that whatever problems had been preventing a regular cycle were disappearing. I was excited to be healthier than I’d ever been, but the possibility of pregnancy was VERY far from my mind.
At the end of October, I was pretty disappointed that it looked like I’d have to call in for medication like I used to. It had been over three months since my last cycle, and though I had been having PMS symptoms for several weeks, nothing was happening. As I had done so many times in the past, I took the routine pregnancy test before calling in for meds (this is required… just to be sure). You can imagine my shock when I looked at the test and saw two pink lines staring back at me.
We went to see my doctor the next day, and learned that I was five weeks pregnant. We were, and are, completely ecstatic. Any chance of being disappointed by pregnancy flew out the window when I saw that little baby on the sonogram screen. I could do nothing but sit there and weep for joy.
I’m now 17 weeks pregnant… finally in the 2nd trimester. At about 7 weeks, morning sickness reared it’s ugly head in the form of all-day nausea (who named it “morning sickness,” anyway?). Now you understand why I haven’t been very active on my FOOD blog, or my FOOD Facebook page… because FOOD has been the absolute last thing I’ve wanted to think about.
Let me explain something here… unless you have been pregnant before, you have no idea how horrible morning sickness can be. I assure you, I had no idea. My idea of “morning sickness” was having a little upset stomach upon waking up in the morning. This was not my experience. There were no foods that sounded good, looked good, or tasted good to me. Any random smell (even those that I usually enjoy) could set off a gagging fit. It was impossible for me to shop for groceries because seeing all that food would send me running, and gagging, back to the car (true story… and quite an embarrassing one!). After just a few bites of whatever I had FINALLY decided to eat at a given meal, I would feel full and nauseous. It was absolutely miserable. Add sheer exhaustion to the equation, and you have a formula for one very uncomfortable pregnant lady. Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly grateful for this growing baby… but pregnancy is no joke. (If you’ve experienced food aversions during pregnancy, you should check out this post from Whole9. It helped me immensely!)
During this time, we also moved out of state and traveled a lot to spend the holidays with our families. Things have been a little insane.
Morning sickness ended promptly at 15 weeks, and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my food over the last two weeks. It’s pretty amazing to “like” eating, so don’t take it for granted! I know I won’t from now on!
Now that food is back in the “enjoyable” category of my life, I’m back to blogging! And I’m looking forward to sharing a few of my “paleo pregnancy” experiences in the days ahead as well. In fact, in my next post I plan to share some of the other changes we made in the months just before we conceived (UPDATE: I’ve started a mommy blog, and I’ve listed the steps we took to reverse infertility HERE). I’m not sure how many of them are directly related to the fact that we actually did conceive, but I think they’re worth mentioning. Stay tuned!
PS: Our baby is due to arrive around the 4th of July. 🙂